All relationships have the potential for improvement. Communication and closeness can be enhanced in our romantic relationships, our friendships, with our colleagues, parents, or anyone we choose. The three fundamental elements that are essential for change to occur are described under the heading of individual sessions. The following describes how these elements apply to improving your relationship with others.
We are often triggered into more intense emotional reactions when we experience disharmony, differences and disagreements in our important relationships. Our intensity is contagious and actually pushes people away when we want them to be close. Too often it triggers an overly dramatic response in anyone we are relating to. We end up in a downward spiral, moving further and further away from the connection we desire. We need to rewire our brains to reflect our adult resources so we don’t feel threatened or disconnected when inevitable problems arise. As we create new, more satisfying emotional patterns we create the positive impact we truly desire. We simultaneously feel more empowered and our communications become more enjoyable.
2. Communication Skills
When we understand our own brain style and the brain style of people who are important to us, we spend less time misinterpreting each other’s behavior. We are no longer led into unnecessary frustration and pain. Recognizing and appreciating these differences encourages greater closeness. Most of us were not taught these tools of compassionate communication. However, it’s never too late to learn them, as they ultimately increase intimacy and support you to feel completely empowered.
3. Learning compassion
We naturally develop feelings of empathy and compassion when we stop reflexive patterns that got hardwired in when we were children. They hardly every reflect our true intentions. Connecting to this desire for more positive connections creates a foundation for compassionate understanding, even when difficulties arise. As we develop this new muscle, these difficulties occur less often and are much shorter in duration.
Developing realistic expectations
One of the greatest obstacles to lasting intimacy is not having been taught . . . realistic expectations. Our culture hasn’t given us a true sense of how to develop the feelings of worthiness and self-esteem we deserve to have. Instead we have been given romantic notions and end up giving others the power to affirm us. This often leads to frustration, anger or resentment; undermining the fundamental promise of the relationship. As we create attainable goals our relationships naturally become more fulfilling and we actualize their most positive aspects.
I know how important support has been in my own transformation and I want to support you in any way that I can. I have worked with people all over the world and can be available in person, on the phone or through Skype. Please check out my website helenkramer.com I have written a number of blogs to give you more tools for liberation and fulfillment. Feel free to contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org and I will get back to you as soon as possible.
When I look back at our first session with Helen I’m afraid that my wife and I could write about anything written in “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Wolf.” Helen quickly got us in touch with the pain below our fighting, pain that only existed because of our desire to have a loving connection. She gave us the tools we needed to change the patterns in our relating and to communicate in ways that created the intimacy and joy that we both desired.
AK New York City
My husband and I were living like friends who amiably divided household tasks and the parenting of our two children. But there was none of the deep passion, intimacy and laughter that first brought us together. Helen was able to teach us how to connect to the profound love that we had experienced early on but didn’t know how to maintain. Our love has only grown deeper.
CC New Jersey