The three fundamental elements that are essential for change to occur are described under the heading of individual sessions. The following describes how these elements apply to improving your family relationships.
Most families seek treatment because one or more members are having significant problems, either behavioral or health-related. Under this kind of stress, members are more easily triggered into intensely emotional and often irrational reactions. It is important to identify these stress-related patterns and quickly wire in more productive and helpful patterns. When any one member has an irrational or intense reaction it is likely to have a cascading effect, triggering similar reactions in other family members. The challenge in working with families is to keep these unproductive responses from becoming contagious. This can be accomplished by identifying the positive intent in each family members behavior and wiring in new more effective patterns that actualize positive intent. The good news is that these new patterns will have a domino effect.
2. Communication Skills
Each family member is likely to have a different brain style and a different communication style. Members with more similar styles often feel closer. But these alliances can disrupt communication within the family unit as a whole. It is essential that members be helped to connect to the positive aspects of each other’s styles. They need to learn how to “peel the onion” and discover the positive motivation at the core of each communication. Doing this repairs frustrating and painful misinterpretations and disconnections. Family members learn specific tools to enhance communication and build on the inherent strengths within the family culture.
3. Learning compassion
As each member transforms their own emotional reactions and patterns of communication they invite more closeness from each other. They are able to connect to each other’s desire to create a family that is more loving and intimate. Each person learns that the interactions that were painful in the past were painful for everyone and were never intentional. Experiencing their own transformation and witnessing it in each other allows them to replace feelings of guilt, blame, resentment or hopelessness. Now, there are feelings of empathy and compassion. A wonderful synergy is created as they become more empowered as individuals and as a family unit.
I know how important support has been in my own transformation and I want to support you in any way that I can. I have worked with people all over the world and can be available in person, on the phone or through Skype. Please check out my website helenkramer.com I have written a number of blogs to give you more tools for liberation and fulfillment. Feel free to contact me at email@example.com and I will get back to you as soon as possible.
When we came to see Helen it was because our 15-year-old daughter was cutting school and had become so defiant we didn’t even recognize her. Helen was able to teach us how to understand that our daughter was in pain and gave us the tools to access her distress. She taught us all how to relate to each other with dignity and compassion and quickly created more loving and intimate relationships with one another. There are no words to describe the joy we feel because were able to actualize the love we have always had for one another.
LD New York City
As a single parent with two teenage boys I often felt overwhelmed and frightened because of their risky behavior. Helen was never judgmental but skillfully showed each of us how our behavior was unintentionally provocative. Helen was always compassionate and her strength and intelligence made us feel safe enough to develop new ways of being with one another. There are no words to describe our gratitude.
DF Brooklyn New York