Our brains evolved so that we would have an instantaneous response to danger and that is how our species survived. But how often have you actually been in a life-threatening situation? Isn’t stress a more prevalent experience for you?
We all want to receive love and compassion, and romantically, “oral sex” is one way to experience these feelings. If we do not receive enough love early in life, we do not feel lovable, and we can become obsessed with behaviors that temporarily make us feel lovable. Please watch and share with others who may benefit from this insight. I am available in-person, on the phone or on Skype if you or anyone you love are struggling to maintain feelings of being lovable, firstname.lastname@example.org.
I want to share with you an experience that has been transformative for me and countless numbers of friends and clients. When I received unconditional love everything in my life opened up and became richer and fuller. I became more loving and attracted more love into my life. This is what I would like for you to experience and that’s why made this video.
If I imagine looking at a bunch of newborns in a hospital nursery I can say unequivocally, that it is each infant’s birthright to feel lovable and worthy. Now if you suffer from feelings of unworthiness remember that you too were an innocent newborn baby deserving of unconditional love. And yet you probably have a lot of negative self- talk and can be critical of yourself and/or others. So, I want to ask you at what age did you stop being deserving? Was it when you were toddler, an eight-year-old, a12-year-old?
I have another explanation for why you haven’t been able to attain a consistent sense of being lovable. My experience taught me over and over again that “there is no gene for self-esteem.” Your self-esteem is determined by how our parents and caretakers met your needs early in life when your sense of yourself was forming. In an ideal world, as an infant, you would be loved unconditionally. If you were treasured and cared for with love and appreciation you would automatically develop self-esteem and all of your natural gifts would flourish.
As an infant, you were a bundle of needs and if all of these needs weren’t met you experienced your own pain or discomfort as a punishment or rejection. The discrepancy between your own power and the power you perceived your parents had, created a sense that they were all powerful. They could give you everything you wanted and needed if they felt you deserved it. You could not have the perspective that your parents could have limitations and so you experienced their inability to love you as you needed to be loved as an indication that you were not intrinsically lovable enough. If your mother was overwhelmed, anxious or depressed and she couldn’t hold you in a way that made you feel secure you experienced this as rejection.
Because these experiences happened so early in life, before you developed the ability to think you have no cognitive memory of the experiences that made you feel unlovable. You have no memory of connecting the pain or discomfort you feel with a sense of your own unworthiness. It’s like an itch you can’t scratch. If you’re like most people you have a feeling of unease or pain but have no idea how it got there. It feels as if it is essentially who we are. But not having a tangible memory doesn’t mean that the sensations and perceptions and sense of yourself as unlovable isn’t palpable.
I always felt that this feeling was epitomized by a quote attributed to the Duchess of Windsor which was “you can never be too rich or too thin.” In essence she was saying that you can never be good enough.
You have been conditioned to try to undo these feelings of unworthiness by becoming more successful or attractive, or attaining status. Your positive intent is to feel worthy but because your discomfort was never caused by your unworthiness no matter how much you achieve it doesn’t make you feel that you are truly lovable. Everything you do to try to disprove that you are worthy inadvertently strengthens your childhood misperception that your pain or discomfort was a measure of your unworthiness.
When we don’t receive the unconditional love we need we don’t develop what I call “receptive response,” the ability to take in loving and caring responses. As a child if you didn’t receive the positive messages you deserved you may have shut down so that you didn’t feel too much pain. This shutting down was an attempt to keep out hurtful messages and to avoid the pain of longing for the positive feedback that didn’t come. As a result of trying not to be hurt you may have become vigilant, looking out for what might go wrong. It has been my observation that in order to protect ourselves from that sucker punch to the gut, most people hang on to unpleasant encounters replaying them over and over in our head.
The purpose of this video is to allow you to develop this receptive response so that you can feel that you are truly lovable. Receiving this love will allow you to open up to the love that is available to you in your life now and will naturally lead to your attracting even more love into your life
I would love to share with you the following videos and blogs because they all contain tools for greater fulfillment. Here is the link to my YouTube channel; https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCCqDb2FtRHyE9fVVhB4eu5g
Invitation to Emotional Education and Greater Empowerment https://youtu.be/SerlxbQbc3k
How to Attract and Sustain Loving Relationships https://youtu.be/jnQMeXmkvtM
Taking the Stress Out of Stress https://youtu.be/3YAlPW1pmO4
The Power of Compassion https://youtu.be/6W1ZYuafyvM
The Hidden Cause of Emotional Suffering and How to It
How to Enhance Your Self-Esteem https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wx6iWFXRBno
Oral Sex and the Male Dilemma https://youtu.be/ZcvaO31XB0M
Breaking the Painful Cycle of Overeating https://youtu.be/ZIvkbyxkfCU
Here are some links to videos they did in 2012 with Alan Steinfield when I appeared on his New Realities Television Show.
Helen Kramer talks about Neuroplasticity and the Adult Within
How to Deal with Anxiety in New Way
Helen Kramer talks about How to Become More Spiritual