My life and work have been devoted to helping myself and others transform any thoughts, behaviors and emotions that are causing pain or discomfort. Early in my career I was impressed with how motivated and well intentioned my clients were. And yet, I had seen so many people spend years in therapy without fulfilling their true desire to live a more fulfilled and liberated life. I never doubted that people’s intentions were pure and yet I could understand their frustration at not being able to attain or maintain desired changes. My approach to creating change is based on the belief that all living organisms have one innate desire and that is for growth. I have dedicated myself to both identifying and removing any interferences to this innate drive for mastery. I have identified five major obstacles to change and developed specific and accessible tools for removing these interferences so that we can all obtain the richness in our lives we truly desire. Understanding what interferes with our changing has allowed me to develop specific tools for overriding and replacing any behavior that is an impediment to our living life fully.
I observed that when people functioned poorly it was because they were stressed not because they were self-defeating. It was because the brain couldn’t distinguish stress from danger. For most of our time on the planet, man lived in mortal danger. But now, fortunately, for most of us, life-and-death issues rarely occur. Stress is ubiquitous. When the brain misreads stress as danger the signal goes to its primitive, fight or flight center. When this happens we react reflexively with the brainpower of a very small, frightened child. I call this "Emotional Dyslexia" because it is a physical problem in the brain like the learning disability dyslexia.
With Emotional Dyslexia stress signals are "hijacked" and our reactions are the opposite of what we want them to be. We have been blaming ourselves and others because of a life-saving reflex that allowed our species to survive Although our brains haven’t evolved to distinguish stress from danger I believe we can teach our brains to send stress signals to our higher centers of our brain where we can engage our adult resources to problem solve and form effective emotional responses.
Overcoming “Emotional Dyslexia.”
In my book “liberating the adult within,” I guide the reader in a step-by -step process that creates new neural pathways, sending stress signals to the more developed centers of our brain. You can begin this process by first recognizing that many of the feelings you experience are false signals and if you take these signals literally your responses will be unproductive or even painful. One of the problems we human beings have is that when we have a feeling in our body we take it literally. You may have cortisol and adrenaline coursing through your veins creating an intense anxiety and yet this feeling doesn’t correspond with your objective circumstances and only robs you of the brainpower you need to problem solve.
Pay attention to your language especially if it is melodramatic. If you feel anxious, enraged or hopeless or find yourself saying things like "I can't take this another minute" or "I'll never be able to get this done," or nothing ever works for me try this technique:
STOP-don’t react reflexively but check it out. If for example, you are experiencing anxiety REVIEW your objective reality. Are you really in danger? Anxiety is a fear response that is only helpful when you are in real danger. If you check your objective circumstances and find that you are not in mortal danger RESHAPE your response. You might find that you’re stressed and definitely need to engage the problem solving part of your brain so that you can reduce that stress. Or get support to help you with this stress.
Be aware of the language you use because if you use melodramatic language you're actually weakening yourself. Stop if you find yourself using melodramatic language like “things never go my way, no one ever wants to support me, I never have good luck,” etc. This kind of language hypnotizes his you into staying stuck in the fear brain and only stresses you more keeping you stuck in fear.
Our culture hasn’t recognized that as we mature we need to be taught how to send signals from the fear part of our brain to the creative problem solving part of our brain. I call my work “emotional education” and not psychotherapy.
It’s time to rewire our brains and transform patterns of anxiety, depression and addictive, obsessive and compulsive behaviors. We are living in exciting times because every one of us has the potential to rewire our brain and replace fear-based responses with more creative, compassionate and fulfilling one's.
I am so grateful to have been given this profound gift of transformation and watched countless numbers of people develop lives that are joyful, loving and creative. It would be my pleasure to help you in any way that I can. Feel free to contact me at here and I will get back to you as soon as possible.
I would like to share with you some other blogs and videos with important tools for transformation.
How to Achieve Wisdom and Overcome Faulty Learning
How to Transform Emotional Dyslexia and Become Empowered
The Power of Compassion - The Most Important Tool for Empowerment
How to Transform Emotional Dyslexia and Beco