Did you know that your brain is wired to have a hair-trigger response to fear because that is the only way our species could survive? You probably didn’t learn that the brain can’t always distinguish between stress and danger. As a result, very often your stress signals are hijacked and sent to the fear centers in your brain. When this happens, you don’t have access to your higher cognitive abilities. You basically have the brainpower of a young infant or child. You have probably blamed yourself or been blamed for childlike or ineffective responses and I’m here to tell weren’t deliberately trying to self sabotage or cause yourself pain in any way. You’re not responsible for the way your brain evolved.
My system of emotional education teaches you how to exercise your brain to develop new patterns that reflect the resourceful adult that you truly are. Neuroscience has taught us that you can change your brain in form and function forever replacing any pattern that is causing you pain or discomfort with one that brings pleasure and fulfillment.
If you find yourself using intense or melodramatic language and you are not in mortal danger you will know that stress signals have been hijacked to the fear part of your brain. You need to remember that everybody around you is having their stress signals hijacked and so we have been conditioned to experience stress in overly dramatic ways. You can try the following formula to begin rewiring your brain;
STOP- don't react when you are stressed and your emotions are overly intense-(the very act of stopping can actually send the signal that was hijacked and reroute it to your higher cognitive centers
REVIEW- remember that once your fear centers have been triggered you will have a release of adrenaline and cortisol making you feel anxious or tense. You need to know that the feelings in your body may have nothing to do with objective reality. You might want to do a simple breathing exercise that will lower your adrenaline and cortisol. If you put your hands on your belly and inhale filling up your belly to the count of 4 and exhale through your mouth like you’re blowing out a candle contracting your belly. Nice easy breaths. Now look around you and observe the objective circumstances and ask yourself “in this moment am I in mortal danger?
RESHAPE- if the answer is “no” let yourself be in the present so that you can learn a less intense way of reacting-
REPLACE-For example you might say something like “I’m overwhelmed” because you have an important deadline to meet. Can you replace overwhelmed with “I'm disappointed” that I'm going to have to cancel my social plans and just focus on this project until it’s done. You can feel compassion for yourself because you are choosing to cancel some plans. You also probably weren’t taught that when you feel heart centered emotions like love, compassion, gratitude or appreciation you actually turn off the fear centers in your brain. These fear centers don’t connect to your higher cognitive centers and that is why when you’re frightened you are less effective. You need this connection for efficient problem-solving it is also empowering to feel why you are making the choice to forgo your social plans. For example, if you have an important project that’s due at work feel your goal and getting that project done. Also feel what would be like if you didn’t get it done. Looking at both outcomes chose the one that you want. You will be much less stressed and yur immune system will function better when you make choices rather than feeling forced to do things. You don’t want to be reliving childhood circumstances when as a child you could be a victim because you didn’t always have choices.
You can now feel compassion for yourself that your choice is eliminating possibility of doing some social activities. Notice how you feel when you are compassionate. Isn’t it more empowering then feeling overwhelmed? You can try the following experiment-say I’m overwhelmed and see how you feel inside and then try saying I’m disappointed. When I have done this experiment with my own clients most people will say they feel weak and small and scared when they say I’m overwhelmed. However, when they say “I’m disappointed,” they have a greater sense of ease and comfort. We have all been disappointed many times and that is something we can cope with. Most of the time when we have intense feelings it is because we are disappointed and definitely not endangered. The more you practice replacing an intense reaction with a more comfortable and confident response the more empowered you will become.
It would be my pleasure to help you in any way that I can to become more empowered because I know that’s what you truly want. Please feel free to reach out to me at here.
I would like to share with you some other blogs and videos with important tools for transformation.
How to Attract and Sustain Loving Relationships
The Power of Compassion - The Most Important Tool for Empowerment
How to Heal the Hidden Cause of Emotional Suffering
How to enhance your self-esteem
How to Deal with Anxiety in New Way
Helen Kramer talks about Neuroplasticity and the Adult Within
Helen Kramer talks about How to Become More Spiritual
How to Achieve Wisdom and Overcome Faulty Learning
How to Transform Emotional Dyslexia and Become Empowered