The Power of Compassion

It is our true nature to be empathic and compassionate… We even have parts of our brain called empathy neurons that allow us to connect deeply to each other’s experience …These neurons evolved because as a species our survival is enhanced if we can take care of each other…Because our brain has not been able to distinguish stress from danger, frequently when we are stressed we are triggered into fear responses that interfere with our innate capacity to be caring and loving …Much of what we have learned from our parents, teachers and culture as a whole has been affected by this highly sensitive fear response and not learning that is generated from feelings of love and compassion… Because these stress and fear responses are ubiquitous we are conditioned to both judgmental and critical behavior robbing us of the ability to develop loving, safe and compassionate responses to ourselves and to others that we desire and deserve…

As a result we are conditioned to be;

  • competitive when it is our true nature to be cooperative
  • judgmental when we feel better giving and receiving support
  • resentful or angry at ourselves and others when is our true nature to be compassionate

So I would like you for a moment just to imagine what it would have been like if as a child, every time you made a mistake, every time you failed to reach a desired goal, you had somebody who could relate to you with compassion and support…Someone who would say things like:

“I am sure that whatever went wrong it is not because you had a desire to hurt yourself.” “I know that you were not deliberately trying to cause yourself pain.”

Someone who would antidote your tendency to describe yourself as “lazy,” “stupid,” or “self-destructive, when because you are human you inevitably made mistakes…

Replacing these self-critical reactions with empathic responses like: “you probably made a mistake because you didn’t know how to do things differently” “You must have been stressed and weren’t thinking clearly…” Or ” You might have gotten anxious and didn’t make the best choice…”

Neuroscience has confirmed my belief that we can stop this negative self- talk by replacing these painful patterns with ones that bring greate self- acceptance, love, creativity and joy into our lives. An important part of my emotional education program is teaching you just had to do that…

Because you have been conditioned by a judgmental society but you may not be aware of the fact that every time you judge someone else, you are exercising your ” judgment muscle”…when you flex this muscle you strengthen it and ultimately turn this criticism on yourself…

In addition you are simultaneously strengthening your own tendency to expect criticisms…

When you criticize others you lose both the opportunity to feel their humanity and your own… You lose the beautiful and sustaining awareness that we are all interconnected loving and lovable human beings deserving to be treated with dignity…

I would love to share with you an approach that has helped thousands of people replace conditioned patterns that caused them pain with new patterns that create feelings of self-esteem, peace and joy. I would love to partner with you and create an atmosphere of genuine compassion and acceptance in which you can learn the very specific tools you need to transform your behavior. Making the YouTube videos and writing these blogs has truly been a labor of love for me because the world could be infinitely more joyful as more and more people learn how to live from their hearts. I know how important me to receive compassion and unconditional love and without it I could not have become the liberated, joyful and loving person I am today. It would be my great pleasure to help you become the person you have always wanted to be. Feel free to contact me at here and I will get back to you as soon as possible.

Inadvertently you are creating even more pain when you repeat your conditioned patterns criticism, leading to feelings of shame, embarrassment, unworthiness and/or the feeling that you are fundamentally unlovable

Whatever mistakes you make, whatever expectations you fail to meet it is important to recognize that you are never motivated by a need to deliberately hurt yourself…

Remember, it is not in your nature to want to hurt yourself…

There are three reasons that we all do things that inadvertently are hurtful;

  1. we get frightened and react impulsively
  2. we are conditioned to react harshly by a fear-based culture
  3. we simply didn’t learn how to do things in a more effective ways

As a result of the above, in some areas of your life you have learned to do things in a way that really doesn’t work for you …

Substituting these explanations for critical ones will help you learn to exercise the compassion and forgiveness muscle…

They are not excuses but explanations that clearly describe why you are having difficulty…

These explanations release you from the endless cycle of self-blame, or blaming others, being angry at yourself or holding onto anger towards others … One way to rewire your brain for self- acceptance is to imagine responding to your own difficulties the way that you would respond to a precious child or dear friend in your life…

Would you tell a precious child in your life or a close friend who was upset about the mistake they had made,  ”You’re an idiot, how could you be so stupid?”

It is my desire that we support each other in being what I call “counterculture” and attain power not from diminishing others but from feeling compassionate to ourselves and to others is truly glorious and inspirational…

I would love to share with you an approach that has helped thousands of people replace conditioned patterns that caused them pain with new patterns that create feelings of self-esteem, peace and joy. I would love to partner with you and create an atmosphere of genuine compassion and acceptance in which you can learn the very specific tools you need to transform your behavior. It would be my great pleasure to help you become the person you have always wanted to be. Feel free to contact me at helen@helenkramer.com and I will get back to you as soon as possible.

The following blogs and videos provide some tools that will help you develop more compassion for yourself and others.

Taking the Stress Out of Stress   https://youtu.be/3YAlPW1pmO4

The Hidden Cause of Emotional Suffering and How to Transform It

https://youtu.be/JpypUUlH554

How to Enhance Your Self-Esteem

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wx6iWFXRBno

Attract and Sustain Loving Relationships

http://www.helenkramer.com/attain-and-maintain-intimacy/

Attract and Sustain Loving Relationships

https://youtu.be/jnQMeXmkvtM