Eliminate Feelings of Shame, Embarrassment and Awkwardness
In order to maintain your own sense of worthiness it is important to see other people as they really are so that you don’t over empower others and simultaneously diminish yourself. To understand what is really going on with someone who was being hurtful or diminishing to you just imagine that they are talking to themselves in the mirror. Whatever they are doing to you is something that they learned when they were young and vulnerable. Somebody important in their life diminished them and some wires got crossed and they feel that diminishing others makes them powerful. They internalized this critical voice and often they try to escape this critical self talk by diminishing others. They live their life on a seesaw and are stuck in the unending process of trying to be on the top and always being afraid of being on the bottom. So, if you see them clearly you will understand that they are suffering because no matter how much they diminish others their feelings of unworthiness remain. When you see such people clearly then you don’t have to take your behavior personally. I believe every behavior has a positive intent and their positive intent is not to feel diminished and the only way they know how to do that is by diminishing others. They are living with a sense of shame and unworthiness and you don’t want to let their behavior to trigger you to feel diminished in any way. Can you really imagine a person who felt secure within themselves needing to diminish somebody else? Truly powerful people are able to accept their own imperfections and naturally feel the same acceptance with the inevitable imperfections in others.
I believe that is every child's birthright to be unconditionally loved. If you don't agree I'd like you to imagine going to a nursery and looking at all the precious infants-is there any newborn baby that doesn't deserve to be bathed in love? Without receiving this pure, unconditional love most people don't develop a sense of worthiness and look for that affirmation and validation from others. Like most of us you probably didn't receive this kind of love which is why I made a video called "Receive Unconditional Love - a 3 Minute Meditation." I invite you to experience this meditation because I know it will help you transform any feelings of discomfort you have about yourself as you internalize this pure, unconditional love.
Our culture has things backwards and too often misinterprets hurtful behavior as coming from a sense of power when it is quite the opposite. This happens when we are vulnerable and dependent as children when adults are critical or angry we don’t have the resources to maintain our own sense of worthiness. We aren’t able to perceive our parents and the important adults in our lives is having weaknesses because they seem so all-powerful to us because of our own dependency on them. Not receiving the proper emotional education keeps us living with this childhood misinterpretation of what power is. In reality, the only way we can feel truly secure in our fundamental worthiness is to lovingly and compassionately embrace our human differences without judgment.
Too often when someone is critical or demeaning it triggers either conscious or subconscious memories from childhood, when you truly were vulnerable and could be victimized. There is a quote attributed to Eleanor Roosevelt that I would like to share with you- “no one can humiliate you without your cooperation.” I’d like to teach you an important tool that will help you not cooperate when somebody is being diminishing. You can transform any painful trials and memories by replacing them with memories that support your feeling lovable. You might try resurrecting a memory of being with a friend who is loving, or being some place in nature feeling the warm sun caressing your skin, or feeling close to a beloved pet. Keep the memory simple and allow yourself to savor the warm feelings you are receiving. If you practice relieving these experiences often enough you will literally rewire your brain and nervous system increasing your feelings of peacefulness and well-being. It is important to practice this when you are not triggered into feeling badly about yourself because it may be hard to switch gears. I usually suggest that people do a simple breathing exercise; put your hands on your belly and inhale to the count of four filling up your belly and just sitting in a relaxed position not using your shoulder or back muscles as you inhale-when you exhale purse your lips and blow out like you’re blowing a candle to the count of eight. Nice easy relaxing breaths. This breathing exercise lowers your cortisol level, which is the hormone you produce when you are stressed. If you do it before any visualization it makes you more receptive to opening up to a new and loving experience.
I know I needed support to become more liberated, loving and joyful and I want to offer my support to you. I would very much appreciate your feedback and I am available in any way I can be to support you. If there is any way that I can for you on this journey please feel free to contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
I would like to share with you some other blogs and videos with important tools for transformation.
Invitation to Emotional Education and Greater Empowerment https://youtu.be/SerlxbQbc3k
How to Attract and Sustain Loving Relationships https://youtu.be/jnQMeXmkvtM
The Power of Compassion https://youtu.be/6W1ZYuafyvM
The Hidden Cause of Emotional Suffering and How to Heal It https://youtu.be/JpypUUlH554
How to Enhance Your Self-Esteem https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wx6iWFXRBno
Receiving Unconditional Love-A Meditation https://youtu.be/cdS-hND7ZZU
Oral Sex and the Male Dilemma https://youtu.be/ZcvaO31XB0M
Breaking the Painful Cycle of Overeating https://youtu.be/ZIvkbyxkfCU
Here are some links to videos they did in 2012 with Alan Steinfield when I appeared on his New Realities Television Show.
Helen Kramer talks about Neuroplasticity and the Adult Within youtu.be/LpZg3uu2hSQ https://
How to Deal with Anxiety in New Way https://youtu.be/Eh7oCJSC-aE
Helen Kramer talks about How to Become More Spiritual https://youtu.be/hWIQ9ZKyc8s